Happy New Year!
So I posted a photo of my lovely dress, and my glossy legs, but I didn't talk about the doctor visit! Doh!
I apologize for being so air-headed. Sometimes my male life insists on intruding. My fiancee and I hosted the annual Christmas gathering at our house, and preparing for that consumed all my free time right up until Christmas day.
Anyhoo...
My intention was to go to the doctor in full girl mode. However, when the alarm went off, I hit the snooze button. Then I hit it again. And again...until I had just enough time to get showered, dressed and get out the door in time for my appointment. I didn't have time to put together a shirt, skirt, shoes, jewelry, do makeup, put on a wig, etc. So I just put on some panties, Hanes Perfect Nudes pantyhose, jeans, a t-shirt and my beloved Trina block-heel sandals.
Honestly, walking into the clinic in those sandals, with my polished toenails on full display beneath my nearly-invisible hosiery made me a little nervous. I forgot how to walk in heels, so I was lumbering around like a drunken fool.
Somehow, I managed to get to the receptionist desk and check in for my appointment. Then I sat down in the waiting area and passed the time by taking a photo of my shoes to show the world I was out in public wearing such obviously feminine footwear. Wanna see it? Oh, alright.
The clinic's carpet is UGLY!
Back to the appointment! After noticing a couple of my fellow patients taking an unusual interest in the carpet in front of my chair, the nurse came out and called me in. Well, here goes...lumbering on my heels once again, trying not to look too ridiculous in the process, I made it to the exam room and took a seat. The nurse checked my vitals, asked me questions about my medications, and left the room to fetch the doctor. Sweet, right? Well, it gets weird in a just a bit...
The doctor, a 20-something 2nd-year intern, was very pleasant, and noticed my odd attire straight away. She told me she liked the color of my nail polish ("Can't Hear Myself Pink!" by OPI). The only question she asked was whether I always wear high heels. At the time, it didn't occur to me that she was concerned about my posture, etc. I thought she was just curious. Anyway, I told her I only wear heels on my days off from my job, and even then not every day.
Since this was a diabetic exam, she wanted to examine my feet. I hadn't anticipated this, either. None of my previous physicians have done this. She lamented the fact that I was wearing stockings, but shrugged it off and just worked around them. All in all, not too weird, or so I thought. Here comes the weird bit.
The doctor disappears, then returns with the staff psychologist, a very friendly South American man with a very thick accent. It took me a while to understand him, but the basic gist was, am I trans? Or more to the point, what pronouns did I prefer? This knocked me for a loop, as I'm sure I'm not the first male patient they've seen wearing hose, heels or nail polish. I told them I still consider myself male, and prefer male pronouns, at least while I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe next time I'll actually wear a dress and see what they do...
When all was said and done, I walked out of the clinic intact. I'm sure the doctors and nurses had a chuckle or two at my expense after the fact, but I don't mind. When you make an oddity of yourself, you have to expect people to fall back to their deeply ingrained defense mechanisms. Most often, laughter and ridicule suffice. If that's the price I have to pay for being my genuine self, I'm ready.
What does the future hold?
So glad I asked!
This week, I'm supposed to go get blood drawn for my next doctor appointment, but I'm going to cancel it because I haven't been taking my meds regularly and I haven't been controlling my diet, at all. Bad Marika! Bad!
I'm off work Friday & Saturday, and Larissa is leaving town for an overnight visit on Saturday morning. Normally, that would be cause for planning some shenanigans, but there's a catch: We're throwing a birthday party for my sister Friday night. Not that it matters. There won't be any shenanigans while Larissa is in town. What's more, Gail won't be available Saturday to do anything. I would love to go to the club we went to in September on Saturday, but I have to be at work at 7:00 Sunday morning. I suppose I could make an early night of it and just spend Saturday putting on makeup and futzing around in my femme finery. That's probably what I'll do. If I decide to go to the club, I'll go early, drink soda and leave by 11:00. I just wish I had a partner to go with me! Going out with a friend is nerve wracking enough. Doing it alone may drive me bonkers.
To that end, I've just purchased a nu-bra (to create some fake cleavage) and a 3-pack of push-up bras (to wear with my boobie pads finish the effect). Hopefully, my makeup practice will yield some results and I won't look like a party clown stepping out into the big world Saturday evening. I already know what I want to wear...the blue cold-shoulder dress I bought a few months ago (which normally would be WAY too short, but screw it, I'll wear some panties under it or something), black fishnets over my CdR Super Lucido tights, a pair of cute jacket earrings Larissa gave me for Christmas and my black wedge booties. I may "borrow" one of Larissa's necklaces for the evening, if I can find one I feel compliments my outfit. I wonder if a pair of white socks with some frilly lace at the ankle would be appropriate. Or if I even still own a pair. If not, Walmart is my friend.
More updates on the outfit and makeup I plan to wear Saturday will be forthcoming...
