Once More Unto the Breach

Today's the day...

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been medically disqualified from doing my job since early last month. Under the circumstances, I think I've managed to hold it together pretty well.

After almost 2 months, I have a shot at redemption. I have another DOT physical scheduled for today, in just over 2 hours. Honestly, I'm nervous.

This time, I believe I have my blood pressure under control.

There's a hitch

You see, I'm diabetic. Have been for years.

Diabetes is a condition which complicates professional driving. The US Department of Transportation (DOT) has decreed that diabetic truck drivers must keep their condition under tight control or lose their medical certification.

I've wavered between decent and lousy control of my diabetes over the years.

I've managed to avoid decertification by being a sneaky SOB.

I've lied to the DOT examiners for years. I've told them I'm not diabetic.

Of course, they have ways to determine whether or not that's true.

Part of the DOT physical involves collecting a urine sample, and testing it for the presence of protein and sugar, among other things. If protein or sugar are present in the urine, it indicates elevated blood glucose, which triggers a blood glucose test. If the reading is out of the normal range, BOOM! No certificate for you.

Over the years, I've devised a method to ensure that my urine is free of protein and sugar. I combine a strict 800-calorie diet, low in carbs and sugar, for a week before the exam, with drinking an insane amount of water the day of the exam, to dilute my urine.

So far, it has worked like a charm.

So why am I nervous?

I've been through a lot over the past several weeks. It's been a roller coaster, and not the fun Disneyland type. More like a slow, hellish jaunt through emotional highs and lows, with no end in sight.

To say the least, it has made me gunshy.

Plus, medical environments always put me on edge. Especially when I know I'm lying to the doctors and nurses, and could be found out at any moment.

That's the kicker -- stress causes elevated blood pressure, as does high blood glucose.

I'm still in an uphill battle. Still unsure. Still scared that I'll fail, as I did last month.

There is so much at stake today.

I can't say that failure today would equate to catastrophe. I've been away from my job for almost 2 months, and have managed to keep my head above water. Driving for Uber / Lyft / Instacart and working in the company warehouse has kept the bills paid.

I've stuck to my diet for the past week (with no small quantity of help and encouragement from my lovely fiancee), and I'm drinking lots of water.

I'm ready.

Ready for my date with destiny.

A Quick Update

Wow. It's been almost a year since I updated this blog!

How it started:

In my last post, I detailed my brave trip to the clinic, wearing a skirt and tights. Everything went very well, and I was emboldened.

Virtually every day since, I've worn a skirt and some sort of feminine hosiery at work, all day. There have been no negative repurcussions, so I'm pretty happy with that decision.

How it's going:

3 weeks ago, I had to undergo my yearly torture, the DOT physical exam.

To put it bluntly, I failed, due to extremely high blood pressure. For those who can interpret the numbers, my blood pressure was 220 / 88.

This is bad. VERY bad.

The practical upshot is that I'm unable to work as a truck driver until I get 2 different doctors to sign off that I have my blood pressure under control.

Like I said, it's VERY bad.

Fortunately, I'm very resourceful.

I signed up as an Instacart shopper, so I could shop and deliver groceries to people willing to pay for such a service.

However, Instacart shopping doesn't come anyhere near making up for the earnings I'm losing from my job. It's not even close.

So I got back into Uber / Lyft driving.

The combination comes pretty close to earning the same kind of money I'm used to earning at my job.

Yeah, and?

So, I'm driving my new 2019 Nissan Murano for Instacart, Uber and Lyft. That's the hustle I'm committed to, to pay the bills.

While I'm doing so, I'm wearing my skirts and nylons.

Walking through grocery stores in a skirt and nylons.

Walking through parking lots in a skirt and nylons.

Walking into restaurants to pick up food orders, in a skirt and nylons.

The only comment I've received so far was from a lady in a grocery store, who asked if I was wearing Dansko clogs (which I was - black patent leather, and do every day). We had a brief but enjoyable conversation on Danskos, how comfortable they are, etc.

Once again, I was emboldened.

Where it's going:

Being emboldened again, my mind is swimming with the possibilities of what may come.

As I've mentioned before, my fiancee is dead set against me wearing skirts or dresses (or nylons or heels) in public, short of going to a gay club or other such "safe space" (defined as a place where nobody she knows will ever see me).

My ideal future involves doing just that. Wearing what I want, when I want, regardless of who might see or what they'll think of it.

Dare to dream...