Rainy Monday

What's a girl to do on a rainy Monday off from work? What would a normal, red-blooded dude do? I have no idea! But what I would (and did) do is slip into some glossy pantyhose, a tight skirt and some shiny shoes, then go out about the town!

My sweet little doggy had an appointment with the vet today (just an annual checkup, don't worry -- she's healthy as a horse), so I decided to let Marika take her. Everyone at the veterinary clinic was super nice. I know they were checking out my legs, and why not? I have some very nice legs!

After my baby's exam, I stopped at the UPS store to send off a package. Once again, had I  not known that I was wearing these lovely feminine things, I wouldn't have been tipped off by anyone else. This is EXACTLY what I fantasize about. Me, wearing whatever I'm comfortable with, mixing with the public, with nary a word being said one way or another.

The more often I engage in these little adventures, the more confident I am and the more it seems like a non-issue. I dearly love walking about in femme things, and welcome the world at large to notice, but in the same way they'd notice an interesting haircut or a particular bit of jewelry. If they like it, they should feel free to say so. If not, they should feel free to move on with their day.

Every bold step into the public eye proves more and more that most people simply don't care. I like that. That's my dream.

Anyway, enough of my prattling. Would you like to see what I wore to the vet and the UPS store? OK, here it is:

 

Sorry about the flash in these photos. I was trying to show off the gloss of these pantyhose, but ended up looking ridiculous instead. This was the first Lularoe skirt I ever bought. I love how it hugs my legs and when I saw the geometric pattern, I just had to have it. I've since bought 2 more of the same style (Lularoe calls it "Cassie"), and I'm sure I'll buy plenty more.

Here I am outside, still trying to show off the gloss on my legs. The sunlight is not cooperating!! Just take my word for it, these tights are super glossy.

Finally, a gratuitous full-body selfie. My selfie stick needs to be charged, so I'm stuck taking this photo the old fashioned way. I'll try again later to get a good full-body shot. Maybe my selfie stick will cooperate at some point...damn these rainy Mondays!

New shoes!!

I hope you all aren't getting tired of me obsessing over girly things. It's kinda what I do!

Anyhoo, I went a little bonkers last week ordering new shoes. 6 new pair, in fact. As I mentioned in the last post, I also bought a whole bunch of skirts and a new top last Sunday, with my ex-brother-in-law, Bill. It seems I've caught the shopping bug, and I've succumbed to it willingly and happily.

Oh, you want to see the new shoes? Well, I've only taken photos of 3 pair, the 3 I think are the cutest and girliest. So let's dive right in...

 

First, these lovely flats from Payless. They're called "Tully smoking flats" for whatever reason. I like them because they're flats and because they're super shiny (I'm such a sucker for shiny things!). They're super comfy and I don't think they look half bad on me.

Next up, a pair of basic ballet flats, also from Payless. These are a bit large on me, so I'll walk right out of them if I'm not careful. They are, however, very cute with their little buckles, so I'll keep them. I also bought a pair of dark purple / maroon ballet flats (not shown here), which fit much better, but I don't really have an outfit to wear them with, so I'll show photos of them another time.

Let's look at the last pair (my favorite out of the bunch)...

These are also from Payless. They're called "Trina block heeled sandals," and they're THE BOMB. The block heel makes it easy to walk in them, compared to the stilettos I was wearing last week. Super comfy and cute, I think they were a great buy.

The Trina's came in the mail a few days ago, and I had to run to the JC Penney store at the local mall to pick up the last 2 pair I bought last week (some awesome black booties and a pair of wedge sandals), so I slipped into a pair of Platino Cleancut 15 glossy pantyhose, one of the Lularoe Cassie skirts I bought last week, and my gorgeous new Trina's, hopped in the car and drove to the mall. 

Walking through JC Penney made me more nervous than I expected. I walked from the entrance to the checkout area, only to learn that the "online purchases" desk was on the opposite side of the store.

So I walked, in my heels, to the opposite end of the store. Everything was going really well. I even passed by a couple of women shopping for shoes. Neither said anything, so onward I strode.

Once at the pickup counter, I had no choice but to swallow my nervousness. After confirming my identity with the lady at the counter, she shuffled off to find my new shoes, leaving me standing at the counter. Not long after, two women showed up to pick up their online orders. There I stood, skirt, nylons & heels on display for all to see, trying to play it off like everything was normal. I think I did alright, so I went back to the car.

I intended to go to a local thrift store (I know, I know!) to look for a purse (I've been carrying a fanny pack around and it's just not filling the bill), but I chickened out at the last moment and drove home.

Interesting side note - driving in heels, especially in a 5-speed Saturn, is much more challenging than driving in work boots or sneakers. Keep that in mind, boys and girls.

So that's my crossdressing adventure for this morning. I hope you enjoyed reading about it!

Sunday Fun Day

Larissa drove down to Madison to attend a food festival with a friend of hers (about a 90 minute drive each way), giving me time to let Marika out for a bit, and Marika has become more and more fond of public outings!

First, I called up my brother-in-law (partner in crime would be more accurate) and told him I'd be free all afternoon if he wanted to hang out. Not to read too much into it, but the guy (I think I've been calling him Bill) really seems to enjoy spending time with me in my skirts and such. I'll just leave it at that.

Anyway, Bill comes over and I tell him I have a few errands to run. He offers to drive, so off we go. I was wearing a cream colored maxi skirt with a matching top over a white cami. I rounded out the ensemble with a pair of flip flops.

First, we stopped at a gas station to buy beer and cigarettes. I strolled confidently into the building, made my purchases, joked with the cashier about having nothing to wear, and made my way back to the car. That was the easy part. On to Walmart, to buy some toiletries. Bill parked about 3 blocks away from the entrance, maybe because he enjoys watching me draw strange looks as much as I do, maybe just because he likes the walk. Either way, everything went very well. After making my purchases at Wally World, I even stood outside the bathroom area, waiting for Bill to take care of some paperwork. I watched as one manly man after another walked by, with nary a look my way. My confidence was sky high.

Then it was on to the thrift store, where Marika went out of her mind, buying 6 new skirts (2 of which are Lularoe Cassie's (my absolute favorite) and a lacy top to go along with one of the skirts (a long grey and purple striped number with an open front).

Finally, we stopped by the jewelry store to return my fiancee's engagment ring (again) for repair. We must have stood in that jewelry store for half an hour before anyone came over to help. All the while, this tiny little girl, maybe a year old, kept toddling toward me despite the admonishments from her father to stay close to him. Finally, the lady took a look at the ring, showed it to the goldsmith, and declared that the broken bit was a manufacturer defect, thus they jeweler would have it repaired at no cost to me. I was relieved since the last time I brought the ring to them, the quoted me $50 for the repair.

After the jewelry shop, we headed back to my house, where I simply couldn't wait to try on my new purchases. I slipped out of my cream-colored outfit and into the grey/purple skirt and matching lace top. Under the skirt I wore the most wonderful silver metallic tights, which I just received from the UK. As a finishing touch, I climbed into my 5" platform stilettos and tottered out into the living room, to an approving look from Bill.

As I said, Marika likes to be seen, so it wasn't long before we found an excuse to venture outside. Bill likes to play this Pokemon Go game an awful lot, and he found a "gym" at the church 3 doors down from my house. As we walked by my neighbor's house, she looked up from the book she was reading and notice us. I explained that we were playing Pokemon Go, to which she replied, "you're certainly dressed for it." Touche, neighbor. Touche. At the church, with his Pokemon business concluded, Bill offered to take a photo of me to mark the occasion. Why not, right? So I pose....in front of the church marquee which reads, "all are welcome." I wonder how true that is....

Anyway, here's the photo he took. Try not to stare for too long, as it may burn your eyes.

Second Outing in a Week

It looks like Larissa is taking rather large "baby steps" toward acceptance of my crossdressing. Last night we drove to Milwaukee to see the Temptations perform at the Wisconsin State Fair. At home, before we left for the 2-hour drive to Milwaukee, Larissa asks why I don't just wear my sandals. I remind her that we're going to a place with a lot of people, some of whom will be drunk and may say something rude about the guy with the pink toenails. She says she doesn't care and that she won't know anyone at the state fair anyway.

The evening was fun and the Temptations put on a terrific show. I caught a man doing a double-take at my feet, but he said nothing. Outings like this are excellent in helping Larissa to see that nobody is really paying attention to what I'm wearing, and after seeing some of the folks at the fair, I dare say I look better in a dress than some of these women do!

Times, They Are A Changing

The Fallout From Last Week

I mentioned that my fiancee was very upset at my newfound passion for crossdressing in public. To say that she was alarmed would be like calling the Grand Canyon a pothole. She went bananas. In her defense, I've known for years that she doesn't handle change very well, especially when it's thrust upon her, so I can't judge her too harshly for wigging out.

This past Saturday (August 4th), the fiancee and I took a road trip to Algoma, a nice little town on the shore of Lake Michigan. We like to do this every so often. She loves the local winery and I'm partial to the brewery tap room next door to it. We both love the smoked salmon at the seafood shop down the street. I was wearing normal "male" clothes and sandals. My toes were out for the whole world to see...

The ride to Algoma was extremely tense. I though several times about breaking up with my sweet woman, just to distance myself from her intolerance. She couldn't stand thinking that someone she knows might see me in public wearing a dress or skirt. She's terrified that someone will see my pretty pink toenails and what they'll imply about her because of it. She is very much controlled by the opinions of people who, quite honestly, have no influence over either of our lives.

We went back and forth, each stating their case calmly. When it was said and done, she had a better understanding of why I feel the need to do these unusual things and I had a better perspective on why it frightened her so. Neither of us fully grasp the reasoning behind the other's position, but we both now have a little insight into the other's perceptions.

When we arrived at the seafood place, I jumped out of the car and ran in to use the restroom. Damn you, Starbucks! When I emerged, she was already inside the shop perusing the selection. She didn't say a word about my toes, though I know she was concerned about them. We made our purchase there and went back to the car. There were people in the parking lot in plain view of my shameful pink piggies, but nobody said a word. 

We drove to the winery and I walked in with her for a bit. Sometimes I'll indulge in a tasting, but not on this occasion. I told her I was going next door for a pint or two of the local vanilla porter (yum!), then did exactly that. The only seat in the tap room was at a small table against the wall, where everyone entering or leaving walked right past me. I enjoyed 2 pints of beer before the fiancee (let's call her Larissa -- can't keep calling her "my fiancee" forever) texted me that she was back in the car and ready to move on. 

We drove to the beach and got out of the car. I offered to cover my feet up for the walk along the jetty, but Larissa put on her brave face and said, "no, leave them as they are." I was shocked, to say the least, but happy to oblige. We spent about an hour walking along the jetty, talking, taking pictures and enjoying the occasional thrill of water splashing up over the jetty and spraying us (the sea was angry that day, my friends). Several people passed us in one direction or another, and guess what...nobody said a word. People rarely do. Every once in a while I'll get, "I like the color on your toes" or "what a pretty skirt," but nothing negative.

On the ride home, Larissa proposed a solution that could work for both of us. For my end, I agree to keep my public outings outside a 30-mile radius of our hometown. For her end, she agrees that my home is my castle, and any way the King decides to dress himself in his castle is acceptable to the Queen. It all sounds pretty nifty in theory, with both of us making concessions to come to a mutually acceptable solution. The problem is, the Queen has never seen His Majesty in a skirt. So Larissa proposes another solution -- one day very soon, when we're both at home in our castle, I will change into whatever Royal skirt I choose, and she will intentionally see it. Only then can she be sure that our previous agreement is something she can live with.

Fast forward 2 days. I finish work at 7pm and head home. Larissa is cutting vegetables and sorting them into sandwich bags to take to work with her. I ask if today is "the day" that she wants to "see it." My little trooper agrees, and off I go to the bedroom to choose the perfect outfit. The perfect outfit, as it turns out, is a black Ozzy Osbourne t-shirt, ultra-sheer nude pantyhose and the first skirt I can get my hands on. I'm choosy like that. The skirt was a cute cream skater skirt with beige diagonal stripes.

When I walked back out into the kitchen, Larissa had her back to me. I stood next to her with my back to the counter and waited. After a few seconds, she stepped back and took a long look at the lower half of my outfit. To her great credit, she didn't wig out. She didn't gag and she didn't make any awful faces. She simply stated, "that's not so bad," then returned to cutting her veggies. This represents the absolute best case scenario in my mind. I know she's uncomfortable with it, but it didn't shock her, so I think it's something she can come to terms with over time.

I spent maybe another 15 minutes in my skirt before I knew she was ready for the experiment to be finished for the night. I slipped off my skirt, peeled off my pantyhose and put on my standard house-lounging basketball shorts. All in all, I think it went pretty well.

The unexpected benefit of this whole evolution is that Larissa now knows that I participate in online forums specifically for crossdressers, and that I'm interested in meeting like-minded people in the local area to share my affinity for all things feminine. I even mentioned an outing later this month in Green Bay, where a group of CDs will go shopping after hours (with the shop owner's permission, of course), then on to a drag show that evening. I would very much like to participate, and she doesn't seem to have a problem with it.

So the times, they are a changing, boys and girls. I think we're finally on the right track.

It's been a week!

Last week, while attending a rock music festival, I got slightly drunk and revealed my "secret" to a (female) kinda / sort friend, in a moment of drunken honesty. Much to my delight, she told me "I don't care what you wear."

Fast forward a week. Me and this friend (let's call her Brenda) decide to go out for pedicures. I gather up my courage, jump into a blue maxi skirt and drive up to meet her. Let me tell you, folks, I had the VERY BEST time I can remember hanging out with Brenda. She's literally non-judgmental. She doesn't give a damn what I wear. I can't find the words to describe how refreshing that is, after 9 years with a woman who considers crossdressing a shameful, dirty little secret.

Brenda and I had some time to kill before our nail appointment, so we drove a thrift store near the nail salon and went inside. Here I am, very much male from the waist up, in a skirt and girly sandals, walking around a thrift store with about a dozen or so "normal" shoppers, checking out dresses, skirts, shoes, etc., and nobody seemed to care at all. We had a great time shopping! Brenda found a cute red, white & blue tie-dyed maxi skirt that she loved, so we headed to the dressing room. Here I am waiting for Brenda to come out, playing with the golf clubs, not even on anyone else's radar. Brenda walks out of the dressing room and tells me the skirt fits her perfectly, but while she was in there, it occurred to her that this particular skirt would look good on me. It didn't take much convincing to get me and the skirt into the dressing room, and wouldn't you know it, the darn thing fits me perfectly, too! Brenda insists that I buy the skirt (it's less than $3), so I do. We stand in line for the cashier, I pay for my skirt and off we go. Not a single incident to report.

So we head to the nail salon and they're ready for us right away. We sit in the pedicure chairs and I experience one of the most awesome experiences of my life. Why hasn't anyone told me how great a pedicure feels and looks when it's all done? The color Brenda chose for me (I'm awful at picking the right color) was a soft pink. With the pink on my toes, the tech asked if I wanted a design on my big toes for an extra $5. What the heck, I'd love that! So she draws a beautiful design on my big toes and a few minutes later I'm off to the dryer. My head is spinning at this point, because I've been all over town in this skirt and haven't heard so much as a snicker from anyone. Now I'm sitting with my feet under this dryer next to a lady I've never met before, and we're having a perfectly normal conversation. Have I died and gone to heaven? Nope, just to a nail salon, where apparently judgment is left at the door. Needless to say, I will be returning, whether Brenda comes along or not.

After the nail salon, I follow Brenda back to her apartment and we just sit on the couch and visit for a while. She tells me her kids (both in their late teens) are on their way home, along with her son's "really nice" friend. I start to panic. I ask if I should leave. Brenda reassures me that her kids will be totally cool, so I stay. The kids walk through the door and, aside from a smirk from Brenda's daughter, they act as if they didn't even notice my bright blue skirt and pink polished toenails. Oh, and that I appear to be a man otherwise. I'm overjoyed. I can hardly contain my smile, but I must. If I turn it into an event, then it will be my fault it became an event, and I will have ruined a perfect day. After a while, I decide it's time to go home and get changed so I can meet my siblings for dinner. Brenda and I hug on her front porch and decide we'll get together on Friday, just to hang out and shop for shoes online.

Friday comes along, and Brenda gets called in to work, so my plans with her are canceled. I'm a little bummed, but I trudge on. An hour later, my cousin, with whom I was supposed to go see a movie, texts and tells me she's too broke for the movie, so we'll have to do it another time. Now I'm getting depressed. All my girly plans for the day have fallen through. So I contact my sister and her ex-husband. I agreed to set up Fire Sticks for them that day, so why not have them come over early and get that knocked out. The landlord's handyman is replacing the air conditioner in my bedroom, so I'm hesitant to change while he's there, but decided just to be bold and go ahead. I slip into my favorite black skirt and move on with my day. My ex-brother-in-law shows up and doesn't even mention my attire. Perfect. That's exactly what I would love to have happen every day. A short while later, my sister shows up. My sister has never seen me in any type of feminine attire, so she's slightly shocked when she sees me. This quickly passes. In fact, later in the day she confessed that she was hoping I'd be wearing a skirt or dress so she could see it and have some time to get acclimated to it. She's a great sister. I'm blessed to have her. Her ex (I'll call him Bill - not his real name), still a good friend of mine and hers, tells me he doesn't care what I wear, and he'd be happy to strap on a dress and go out in public with me. Great sentiment, but unnecessary. We drink through a 12-pack of beer and my sister polishes off a bottle of my fiancee's wine, so Bill decides to run to the liquor store for more adult beverages. Bill the blows my mind by asking if I'd like to come along. Of course I would! I don't know if he was serious, but I called the bluff. Turns out he wasn't bluffing. We went to the liquor store, goofed off a bit there, made our purchases and left, again without any incident.

Back at the ranch, my sister (let's call her Julie - also not her real name) is jamming out to Ozzy (I told you she's a great sister!) and waiting for us to get back. Bill's girlfriend comes over to join the fun, as does Bill's dog. I'm in heaven. I couldn't be happier. I finish setting up Julie's Fire Sticks (all 6 of them!) for her and proceed to set up Bill's girlfriend's (let's call her Anna). By the time Anna showed up, I had decided to show off a pair of tights I really like. They're nude and have black roses imprinted on them. Julie digs the tights, as does Anna. Not a word of ridicule or derision is said the entire day.

That is, until after all the party people leave. My fiancee gets home around 6:30. Bill and Anna leave about an hour after that. I fall asleep in the recliner, quite drunk, having not finished Anna's Fire Stick. My fiancee gives Julie a ride home, stops at Hardee's and brings dinner home with her. At this point it's about midnight and I have to be up to go to work at 5:00am. After we finish eating, for some reason I blurt out that Brenda went to the nail salon with me. This doesn't sit well with the fiancee. Not well AT ALL. She asks why I didn't tell her this sooner. I say because I don't want to suffer her wrath, as I do whenever anything even remotely crossdress-y comes up.

By the time I went to bed, the fiancee had accused me of "escalating" my crossdressing, keeping secrets from her and I can't even remember what else. My perfect day is obliterated. Smashed. Eviscerated. I'm despondent. She finishes the emotional beatdown by telling me that Julie and Bill and Anna are "my people," and what I do around them is my business, but don't parade around in front of the neighbors in feminine clothes. Of course, it's too late for that. I spoke with 2 of our neighbors yesterday, while wearing my femme finery, and was warmly received by both (both women). A 3rd neighbor walked by, gave me a nod and went into his apartment. He's seen me in a skirt before. He doesn't care. In fact, none of the neighbors seem to give a damn. Only my fiancee is petrified of what total strangers will think or say.

That was last night. As I type this, it's around 4:15pm on Saturday. I've been at work since 7:00am. My fiancee didn't come to bed until after she heard my alarm going off this morning. She hasn't said a word to me since I went to bed. She pocket texted me a couple hours ago. I responded, but she hasn't. I'm afraid this relationship is about to implode, but I won't stop it. My uncle's death had an impact on me, as described in an earlier post. Life is short. Be who you are. I won't compromise who I am because she's worried about the neighbors, or strangers. I can't let the opinions of others shape what I do. I love being girly. I love wearing girly clothes, shoes, jewelry, etc. I love having my nails polished. I've never been with a man sexually. I have gay fantasies, as I understand most guys do, but for the past 47 years, I've never acted on them. If the fiancee and I break up, I may indeed explore that, but I really have no intention of doing that otherwise.

In the end, I can't live my life by her rules. I can't let her fears hold me back. I can't let her judgment lay me low and break me. I have to be strong. I have to be real. If she can't handle it, then we're not such a great fit for each other afterall. I will not succumb to her bullying tactics any longer. I'm not ashamed of who I am. As Iggy Pop once said, I'm not ashamed to dress like a woman, because I don't think being a woman is shameful.

Anyway, that's an ongoing issue, so I'll just wait and see how it plays out. In the meantime, here are a couple pictures of the awesome pedicure I got with Brenda. I hope you like them!

Home Again

The trip to Arizona was fun. We did a lot of driving -- over 1,200 miles in 3 days! We saw Arizona's beauty from so many vantage points, and it was inspiring.

I brought a few feminine items along, including a skirt, but never wore it. Things were going well. I didn't want to make waves with my compulsion to wear a skirt, so it just didn't come up.

There was a moment, shopping in Scottsdale, when I mentioned that I liked a certain dress. My fiancee shocked me by asking if I liked it for myself. This is HUGE. She doesn't like me crossdressing, but she understands now that it's something I need and something I love to do. So she throws me a bone and I'm elated. Any stride toward full acceptance is good, in my opinion.

My fiancee knows that I shave my legs. She's known for a while. So we were at a Walmart in Page, AZ, picking up a few odds and ends. I mentioned that I didn't bring a leg razor with me, so she grabbed a pack of "girl" razors and threw them in the cart. Another stride toward acceptance, in my opinion.

We flew back 2 weeks ago, and things have settled back into a routine. On the way home from the airport, our car overheated, blew both head gaskets and died on an off-ramp. We decided that the car (a 2007 Subaru) was too old to invest the $3,000 it would take to fix it, so we bought a 2017 Nissan Rogue to replace it. Other than that, nothing too exciting, good or bad, has happened.

My schedule rotates, so every other month I have my weekends off. This is my last full weekend off until August, which means my fiancee is home with me. This makes it difficult to dress as I would like, but I also have the next two days off, so I'll get my girl on then. I know I'm jonesing to dress, as I'm looking around for places I may have stashed a pair of pantyhose, but alas, no luck finding any. Oh well, I only have to wait until tomorrow...